Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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