Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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