Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
