I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
