Dual....:-)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
