I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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