I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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