At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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