who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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