my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
