Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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