so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
