Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
