did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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