There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
