don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
