So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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