yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
