Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
