On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think i have two assholes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
