I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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