My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
