You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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