before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
