belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
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what day is it and did you see me today?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
is it fun? or sober?
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