2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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