I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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