the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize