Kiss
Puke
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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