You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
