if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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