Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize