Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
