Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
