My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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