so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
