Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
