I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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