can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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