That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize