we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.