just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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