3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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