i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize