So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize