Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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