super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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