I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
