why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
