we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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