I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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