Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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