Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I love having hate sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
