she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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