apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
