well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
