you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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