so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
